Menopause and the Journey to Self-Love

My journey during this lifetime has always been about Self-love and during the menopause self-love seemed to disappear and I got triggered big time.  This is me sharing with vulnerability. This is not about harsh judgement just fact. 

I have done a lot of deep diving and healing during the last few years, but nothing prepares you for the menopause and how deep core beliefs can present themselves in different ways. 

Comparison was a biggie for me, particularly when I started to gain weight and nothing seemed to stop it.  Comparison is something I had never really done or thought about. I am very much about raising others up, not crashing others or myself down.  My appearance suffered greatly too, as I mentioned in my blog post. I couldn’t even control my hair or seem to make it look tidy, so I just let it be curly and wild.   I didn't like looking in the mirror.

I was very aware that I would be comparing myself to other women and asking myself some of the most ridiculous questions such as, “Why am I putting on weight and others don't", and “how does everyone else look better than me?”  I felt like a hot mess during the menopause and not just down to the hot flashes.  I would catch myself hearing these voices in my head comparing me to others and I would have to stop myself by telling myself I was being stupid, and it isn’t the truth.  The subconscious however was running a different program.  An old, outdated program.  

It felt as though whatever I did, it wasn’t working.  Whether it was eating healthy foods or exercising in a different way.  Everything was such an effort, and I wasn’t getting the results. 

I distanced myself from others just to avoid being a position where I could compare.  I kept myself small and in my little bubble of family and close friends.  It felt easier to cope with.  Metaphysically weight gain is a form of protection.   By distancing myself I was adding to that protection and enforcing that I needed this layer of protection.  It’s been a habit of mine for a very long time.  I push people away until I can come up with a solution. Another old program. 

This was a time in my life when I decided that I couldn’t do my live feeds every day on Facebook and reduced my on-air time to help me deal with what I was dealing with. 

As I write this I cringe, as I realize that image is a superficial thing and that the beauty lies within the soul itself and how you show up in the world.  But I know many, many women feel this way when the menopause symptoms take over and logic goes out of the window.  I honour that and the way I felt. The brain fog and hot flashes stop you in your tracks and it feels as though everyone is looking at you. Everything becomes hard work from getting up in the morning to getting food on the table.  I spent a lot of time trying to meditate my way through this exhausting period of my life.  I also spent a lot of time trying to apologize for being snappy and irritable. 

Why did I feel this way?  Because deep down I didn’t feel good enough and I didn’t love myself at this point in time – the story of my life triggering me in the most unexpected way.  My confidence was shattered.  I became hard on myself with self-criticism.  But I did recognize that the symptoms weren’t really the issue and that it was lying deeper in my subconscious. 

I read books, tried smoothie diets and tried many, many supplements.   I needed to do something different.  It was time to call in the troops (my lovely spiritual team) and do the inner work.   

And therein lay the root of all the symptoms.   The times where heartache had broken me and words had hurt me. My symptoms showing me the many challenges that I had faced in my life. The beliefs that I had taken on from others about ageing.   It was time to reclaim me.

It was a blessing.  This experience was showing me how to rise up.  How to rebirth my soul. This was part of my journey to Self-Love. This was the spiritual awakening of all awakenings, and I sat in gratitude for what it was showing me, and I knew then that this wasn’t just about showing me how to heal and rebirth but to help others on the same path. 

Not all of you will have had the same experience as me, as the symptoms of menopause are many but I know that fueling those symptoms will be deep routed beliefs about yourself that you made a long time ago that are not serving you and this is your opportunity to finally free yourself. 

This is why I am so proud of this new offering.  She Who Rises is my 12-week program of Akashic Record Clearings where we release comparison, lack, self-doubt and lack of self-worth and we rise together and embrace the beauty that age and wisdom brings with grace and ease. 

If you feel that this program is calling you, you can sign up on the website.  The link is below, and it is a wonderful chance to take advantage of the early bird price of £395 (instalment plan is available) before the price rises on 8th July.   

https://www.lorrainebutterfield.com/menopause-mind-reset

Much love to you, 

Lorraine xx 

"Comparison is the thief of joy"